So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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