i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize