need another drink. this is the easiest way
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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