My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize