whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize