is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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