I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize