We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize