i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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