Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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