fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
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I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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