Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
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the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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