I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize