Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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