This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize