i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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