i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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