So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize