this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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