I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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