It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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