The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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