hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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