Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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