Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize