i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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