You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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