i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize