you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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