If that was your dad, he is hot
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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