i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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