so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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