just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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