A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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