we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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