I cannot find my penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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