Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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