My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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