I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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