well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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