I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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