So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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