At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
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No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
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I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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