I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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