I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize