Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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