Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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(585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh

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(701): View more from North Dakota

you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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(701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.

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(503): I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/2hrq

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(401): Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name. http://tfl.nu/4teg

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

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(502): so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done http://tfl.nu/tthp

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(251): View more from Alabama

I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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(251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.

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(816): I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic. http://tfl.nu/t2fd

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(863): View more from Florida

Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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(863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game

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(919): she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game http://tfl.nu/obaf

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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(860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.

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(+44): So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went. http://tfl.nu/a2g3

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(360): View more from Washington

She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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(360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's gameday bitch. Man up.

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(336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp

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(512): View more from Texas

I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

(512): View more from Texas

Cross faded me is not the classiest.

(817): View more from Texas

No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

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(512): I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed... (512): Cross faded me is not the classiest. (817): No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that http://tfl.nu/rzqz

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(917): View more from New York City

Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

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(917): Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum http://tfl.nu/namq

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