Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Randomize
Follow @tfln