My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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