Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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